Ibrahim

“My brother died on Friday, enna lellah wa enna elayhi raje, un*”, sukker Ibrahim, mens han fører bilen rundt i endnu et hårnålesving.

*Til Gud hører vi og til Ham skal vi returnere. “He was the youngest of us all. We are 6 brothers and 3 sisters. My little brother was a police officer, alhamdulillah, and while he was on duty controlling traffic in Amman, a car drove straight into him and ran him over. The driver didn’t even stop to see what he had done. The police caught him later. Now he is in jail, waiting for his sentence”.

Jeg tager mig til hjertet og siger: “I am deeply sorry for your loss, Ibrahim”.

Hvad siger man egentlig til et menneske, som er ramt af en tragedie lige her og nu?Landskabet passer perfekt til Ibrahim’s dramatiske fortælling.

De dybe dale.

De forrevne klipper.

Skyggesiderne.

Brudstykkerne af insisterende, guddommeligt lys igennem skydækket.

Storheden.

Trøstesløsheden.

Ubarmhjertigheden.“My brother left a wife, one son aged 9 and one daughter aged 5. His wife is pregnant with their third child and it is not good for her to be alone”, fortsætter han.

“And now my wife is afraid that I will marry my brother’s wife to protect and provide for her. I love my wife and I have told her that I don’t want more wives than her. She is the one. But I am also the oldest son of the family and I have to take care of my sister-in-law now”.

Martin og jeg lytter intenst til Ibrahims triste fortælling.

“The police force will grant my brother’s wife a pension for the rest of her life, because of her husband’s death in duty. But a woman cannot live alone like that, it will make her life very difficult. I, for one, would not even be able to pay her a visit and see how she is doing, because I cannot go into a widow’s house like that. No, she needs to re-marry. As soon as she is not grieving, I will have to bring the matter up”, forklarer han videre.

“I am thinking of my younger brother, who is still unmarried. He could marry her and our family would be okay, inshallah”.

Det virker som om Ibrahim på nuværende tidspunkt tænker højt for sig selv.

Martin og jeg har meget lidt at tilføje.

Idéen er så langt fra dansk mentalitet og kultur, at det er svært at forholde sig snorlige til problematikken.

Ibrahims spekulationer stoppes af en flok får og geder, der krydser vejen – til pigernes store begejstring.Et øjeblik senere er det hans mobiltelefons insisterende ringen, der får os til at holde ind i siden af vejen.“It was my Mother. She is asking how I am and where I am. She is now worried all the time, because of what happened to my brother. She is crying a lot these days. My Mother is old and she not well; she had one of those, what do you call it, blood clot in the brain a few years ago”.

Sorg og hjerte-smerte er universelle følelser. Og intet må være værre end at miste et barn. Det er så ganske imod naturens orden.

Her er en Mor, som kun ønsker sig én eneste ting i verden: At hendes søn skal leve igen.

Og lige præcist dét ønske kan aldrig blive opfyldt. Uanset hvilken Gud hun tror på og beder til.

Ibrahim fortsætter med at fortælle historier undervejs.

Om dengang han var ung og dybt forelsket i en kristen kvinde, hvis familie rejste ud af landet. Han så hende aldrig igen. Men han kom sig over hende, da han mødte sin nuværende kone. “To the people of Jordan, it does not matter if you are Sunni or Shiite or Christian, we live next door to each other and we don’t ask or bother, we are all the same. Humans, you know, after all”. Jeg ville ønske, at alle i hele verden kunne ræsonnere som Ibrahim.

Ibrahim er romantiker. Han bevæger hænderne ivrigt, når han taler om kvinder og kærlighed. Om hvordan islam tillader en mand at have 4 koner og årsagerne herfor. Men Ibrahim hverken kan eller vil have mere end én kone. For han elsker hende. Og hans rige ven, der har 4 koner og 4 hjem at bo i, har aldrig fået andet end bøvl, ballade og (utrolig mange) børn ud af det.

Ibrahim er også en stolt Far, der – præcist som Martin – skynder sig hjem fra arbejde for at være sammen med sin familie. “My sons are waiting for me by the door in the afternoon, searching my pockets for a treat, when I arrive home. I always bring them a little chocolate and my wife warns them that I will not bring anything, if they are naughty, ler han. “And my oldest son can sense me in the house. When I wake up for fajr prayer, no matter how quiet I am in the early morning hours, he will always sneak into my room and pray with me. He just wants to follow me everywhere. And when I then go back to sleep, he will be wide awake and start to bother his Mother. I think 2 children is enough, they do keep us very busy”, griner Ibrahim.

“My wife is a teacher, but when I married her, I told her that she can now stay at home and make herself comfortable, because I will take care of her. When we had our two sons, she is now becoming a teacher again, teaching our oldest son the alphabet and the numbers for an hour every day. He will go into pre-school next year, when he turns 5. But we both want her to spend as much time as possible with them. Nannies are not for good for bringing up children. The parents have to do that.” 

Ibrahim er også tidligere soldat i den jordanske hær, hvis øverste myndighed er selveste Kongen. Han tager stolt sit guldur af og viser os den jordanske krone i midten af urskiven. “Only the loyal and best soldiers will get this acknowledgement”, tilføjer han. At være soldat i Jordan er et ganske udmærket liv, men lønnen er lav. “I cannot provide for my wife, our two sons and my Mother and Father on a salary from the army, so I took this job as a driver instead. But we have big problems in Jordan now: Tourists from Europe are not coming anymore, because they are scared of the war in Syria. They sit and they look at the map and Jordan is surrounded by warring neighbours. But we don’t have a war here. People can still come here to enjoy the Dead Sea and our good country. But Europeans don’t understand this”, fortsætter han.

Og jeg sender hans besked kærligt videre – ud, ud, ud i den virtuelle verden og hele vejen fra Den Arabiske Halvø og op til Danmark: Jordan ér et sikkert land – og tilmed et fantastisk rejsemål.

Og hvad angår Ibrahim, så er han en mand med masser af løsningsforslag i de dybe lommer.

Han ser både sort, hvidt og nuanceret på livet og alle de udfordringer, som det byder ham og hans familie.

Mange hilsner fra Mor i Udlandet